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Somewhere far off, a voice woos this little baby; muffled, distant, but nonetheless all too repetitive and familiar to be just the melody of the whirling liquid in which she lives. Baby comes to recognize this voice. "This is mommy." "I love you so much." "I can't wait to see you." "You are such a little miracle." "I've been waiting for you for a long time." Oh, she doesn't know yet what the words mean or even who mommy is, what she looks like; in fact, she has no idea of the concept of mommy or waiting. But she hears her voice.
It's been a long journey for both mom, who's gone from tight-fitting jeans to loose waistbands expandable to balloon sizes, and baby, who had nothing to do with the commencement of her journey and DNA that took care of the rest. Who started with a neural tube for a brain to one that is ready to be programmed with vast amounts of sensory and visual experiences. Thus far, the womb has been a comfortable place to be. That's all baby has known. The rhythmic internal sounds, the distant voice, the darkness, the firm hug of confinement, the warmth of 98.6 temperature - knowing no hunger, no fear, not even needing to breathe. Just grow baby, grow.
But let's imagine mommy could talk in words that baby began to understand from her own perspective.
"Oh sweet little baby, mommy loves you. Did you know that soon you will experience pain that you never dreamed possible? Yes, it's true! Your heart that's been beating steadily since about six weeks old, will beat so fast you might think it's going to jump out of your little chest. Oh, and your head? Your head is perfectly designed, soft and pliable, with bony plates that will slide right over the top of each other making your head small enough to fit through my tiny little pelvic girdle. Oh, it's going to be tight. You might have to squirm and turn - the doctor, in fact, might have to coax you along a little if you need some help, but soon, your head will just lodge in there and that tight hug of my uterus you've been feeling? Well, it's gonna start squeezing you so hard - they say those contractions can break an arm caught in one - it's gonna squeeze you to my shape. But don't worry, you have to go through this. That squeezing is gonna force all that fluid you've been taking in and out of your lungs like the tide. What are lungs? Oh. They'll help you breathe once you're out of there. Oh, I know you don't know what breathing is. That's because I've been doing it for you! You know that cord you've sometimes grabbed hold of in there? Well it attaches you to me. I've been breathing for you and eating. Daddy says I've been eating too much! Daddy? Oh he's that other voice that's always talking to you. Eating? Oh, that's right, you don't know what that is either yet. Anyway, once your little head pops out of my passageway, cold air will hit you, but don't worry, your little thyroid will go into overdrive and heat you up - oh, and your little eyes will see the light for the first time! At first, it'll be all fuzzy. If you saw everything all at once, it might be too much for you. After the rest of your body pops out, you might let out a few screams as your lungs fill with air the first time. The doctor will lay you on my chest and you'll get to finally see me - see ME! Your mommy! Daddy will then get to cut that cord I was telling you about, the one you've been depending on to live! It's amazing. And you will be breathing on your on. You will be born!"
"There will be times that the nurse will take you away, give you a bath, all that stuff. Your arms and legs will flail as they stretch out for the first time, but don't worry, the nurse will swaddle you in a blanket. After a while, you might cry for me because you'll be hungry. I'll be right there, in me is everything you need - they'll bring you right back to me and we can snuggle for a long time."
Imagine if the baby could answer back. "I have no clue what you are talking about."
"Oh baby, you will. You must be born."
Like that little baby, my life's journey has been prepared for me. I didn't ask for the life given to me. I only knew the life I was living. Each experience a physical stimulus for growth of the spirit. In the distance, I hear the voice of God. "This is the way, walk in it." I recognize that voice over time. It's always there. But what is it? Questions set in. What does that mean? Who is this? I feel a separation from the voice that I long to know. A void causes me to think 'there's more' than this little womb of life. "I am the Bread of Life, take of me, eat." What? I don't understand that food. I hear a voice say, Grow! I starve, I hurt. I'm supposed to feel that. It's in my DNA for "God has set eternity in our hearts." I try to fill that empty "heart"with pleasures, food of another kind, but realize it doesn't satisfy. Well, maybe I'm crazy, I think. Maybe that voice is me. Maybe I am really god. I listen to some who tell me I am. I listen to others who tell me to ignore it. I buy earplugs so that I might not hear it. I listen to others who tell me they've been through that too - that God is seeking me and to listen. All the pains, all the comfort I've known is just part of the journey. But I can't see where you're taking me. You can't because you're not there yet, they say, you must be born again. What does that mean? I don't understand. All I know is this life. No, they say, you know His voice, listen to Him. I do. I know it sounds crazy, Lori, but you must be born. He squeezes me, gives me what I need, increases the heat, rids me of impurity and gives me life. I am born. Again. Now I see.
Knowing what we know about that baby in the womb who sits in darkness waiting to be born, how can I explain being born again?
Someday, you'll see.
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John 6:44-48
Isaiah 30:21
Ecclesiastes 3:11
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